tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55692082011-04-21T17:17:30.192-04:00Fragrant LotusFragrant Lotus - 20-something year old Asian American lawyer, amateur musician, curious girl exploring life in New York City.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comBlogger961100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1079018645284510282004-03-11T10:24:00.000-05:002004-03-11T10:29:15.716-05:00Smile
I'm often told that I have a nice smile. It's been happening for most of my life. Here are things that people have said to me:
"Little girl, you have a smile like a beautiful flower!"
"Wow, you have a great smile! I noticed it from across the room... Hey, uh, do you want to go out sometime?"
"Lotus always has a permanent smile on her face. I don't know what she's so happy about. lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078931717789535582004-03-10T10:15:00.000-05:002004-03-10T10:19:10.513-05:00This Sucks
Ok, you know what really sucks? When you quit your job AND give 2 weeks notice AND plan a fabulous vacation with an international flight leaving on the day you leave.
And then everyone in the office piles the work on you, saying that you really should "finish up" these projects before you leave. But it's all about trying to make you feel guilty for leaving them.
Yeah, the phraselotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078867199419658442004-03-09T16:19:00.000-05:002004-03-09T17:38:18.293-05:00Fun With Statistics
I recently found this site that has interesting statistics on world countries. The links at the top of the screen are the most fascinating.
For example, did you know that Luxembourg is the richest country in the world, based on GDP per capita? Yep, it beat the U.S. I think it's because there are only 10 people in Luxembourg.
And also, according to this site, it is more lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078764699273557102004-03-08T11:51:00.000-05:002004-03-08T11:53:52.890-05:00Everyone's a Mozart
One of my friends teaches music to elementary school students. His students gave a concert this weekend. But he didn't have enough instruments for a full orchestra, so he was running around last week trying to get his adult friends to fill in for certain parts.
I offered to help him out, along with some of the other members of my community orchestra. We all thought it lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078502873337726832004-03-05T11:07:00.000-05:002004-03-05T11:15:58.590-05:00Grandparents
I got to thinking about names for grandparents. My friend M, who's a 32 year old guy, still calls his grandfather "PopUp." How cute is that?
Another friend, whose grandparents are from Eastern Europe, calls them "Babka" and "Jadek." Her other grandmother is "Opoe."
Then there's the friend who calls her dad's parents "Grampa and Gramma," and her mom's parents "Noni and Pops."
lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078414944026174192004-03-04T10:42:00.000-05:002004-03-04T10:44:33.890-05:00Sniffle
Ugh, I'm totally out of commission - I have a terrible cold, and my nose is crusty.
It's sooo embarrassing when you're at a firm event, and stuck talking to a partner for half an hour, with no tissue. And you realize that you have snot running down your face like a 4-year-old, and nowhere to wipe it except on the sleeve of your brand-new expensive suit.
But you're in a fancy Chineselotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078241463482606722004-03-02T10:31:00.000-05:002004-03-02T10:35:55.326-05:00Overheard in Times Square
An elderly British tourist approaches a young, punky skateboarder with spiked hair, and asks politely, "Excuse me, is this the queue for the Broadway tickets?"
The young punk responds, "Queue? The only queue I know about is my Netflix queue!" Then guffaws at his clever joke, and runs off.
The elderly British tourist shakes his head, muttering, "Americans."lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1078153552461090112004-03-01T10:05:00.000-05:002004-03-01T10:09:34.920-05:00Those Crazy Retirees!
A friend recently retired early. She's relatively young (in her mid 50's). Since she never got married or had kids, and lives alone with her 2 cats, she decided to sign up for some cooking classes to stay busy.
This weekend she showed me a catalog of courses offered through a community organization for retirees. One of them was a Chinese food cooking class.
The course lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077895104397291322004-02-27T10:18:00.000-05:002004-02-27T10:31:16.796-05:00Hobo
I've decided that things are just not good around here. So this weekend, I'm running away from home.
I'll take a bandanna, tie it up into a little bundle, and attach it to the end of a stick. And then I'll cover my face with dirt like a hobo, and set off with the stick balanced over one shoulder.
I guess I'll trek through Central Park first, since that's the closest wilderness.
Then lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077807787210684862004-02-26T10:03:00.000-05:002004-02-26T10:05:10.403-05:00Fridge
I cleaned out my refrigerator last night.
I knew it had been a while, so I made a decision to throw out what was bad, and to eat what was good.
Ugh! There was an entire ecosystem inside. Among the things I fished out of the primordial swamp:
1. A container of yogurt with the expiration date of "November 1, 2003" and a strangely distended lid (I threw that away).
2. A block of lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077723829540683452004-02-25T10:43:00.000-05:002004-02-25T10:45:51.216-05:00Close Call
Last night I was running for the subway, but I didn't make it. The doors shut right before I got onto it.
I knew better than to try to stick my hand between the closing doors. But I was so close, that they closed over the hem of my coat.
For a moment, I stood there terrified, as I realized that my coat was stuck in the door of a subway that was about to leave, and that I was lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077635049583423192004-02-24T10:04:00.000-05:002004-02-24T10:06:46.060-05:00Childhood
Last night I had insomnia, so I was up late watching a special on Food Network about Easy Bake Ovens.
When I was a kid, I never had one, but my best friend did. We baked cakes and brownies in it. Who knew that a 100 watt lightbulb could produce such scrumptious results for two 8-year-old girls?
My parent wouldn't buy me one. They were convinced it was dangerous, and (at $19.99) lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077509387044028252004-02-22T23:09:00.000-05:002004-02-23T10:51:36.780-05:00Admit It...
You too were bawling by the end of the season finale of Sex and the City last night.
Ok, so maybe I was the only one. And my friends who had me over to watch it. But were were all sniveling when Miranda was bathing her mother-in-law, sobbing when Mr. Big found Carrie in Paris, and all-out wailing when Harry and Charlotte saw the picture of the little Chinese baby they were going lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077288019927306282004-02-20T09:40:00.000-05:002004-02-20T09:44:20.340-05:00Unthinkable
Yesterday, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I saw the unthinkable.
I mean, you imagine this happening, but I actually saw it with my own two eyes.
The woman on the treadmill next to me was running and having a conversation on her cell phone at the same time.
She didn't even have a hands-free set; she was holding her cell phone in one hand and talking into it while she lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077203227865427562004-02-19T10:07:00.000-05:002004-02-19T10:09:04.013-05:00College Credits
My younger sister is still in college. She takes some interesting classes. For example, right now she's taking a class on Human Sexuality.
Our conversation last night, while she was on the phone with me and simultaneously studying for an exam:
Sis: So did you know that a cross section of the male penis is made up of 3 major regions?
Lotus: Oh really? How about thatlotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077119155312289382004-02-18T10:45:00.000-05:002004-02-18T10:47:50.153-05:00Trapped at Home!
The front door of my apartment is warped.
The building is very old and not well built. The door frame is sagging. Instead of a rectangle, it's shaped like a parallelogram. The door doesn't fit it perfectly. The top is tight, but there's a 2-inch space between the bottom and the door frame.
Last winter, my next door neighbor was trapped inside her apartment when her lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1077043174657837152004-02-17T13:39:00.000-05:002004-02-17T13:43:21.263-05:00No Celebrities
I was in the airport this weekend when I heard an announcement on the intercom: "Attention, will Delta Airlines passenger Ryan Seacrest please report to Gate 12 to meet your party?"
Suddenly a big group of giggling teenage girls shrieked collectively, and started running toward Gate 12, obviously hoping to catch a glimpse of a celebrity.
A few seconds later, the voice, now lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076695070807262372004-02-13T12:57:00.000-05:002004-02-13T14:27:21.983-05:00Alliterative Adjectives
I went to a concert at Carnegie Hall this week. I heard a piece by Bartok: The Miraculous Mandarin. That title made me giggle, and got me brainstorming.
Don't ya think someone should write the following works?
The Lascivious Latvian
The Self-Important Singaporean
The Anorexic Angolan
The Well-Endowed Welshman
The Cracked-Up Colombian
The Hysterical Hungarian
The lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076599945631997342004-02-12T10:32:00.000-05:002004-02-12T10:36:46.280-05:00Vacation of Death
I had dinner with some friends last night. Among them was a married couple who just returned from an extended vacation.
The plan was to take a luxury train ride across the South, followed by a fabulous cruise to the Caribbean. They were both looking forward to the time off from their busy work schedules.
One night during dinner aboard the luxury train, the passengers all lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076515386371740732004-02-11T11:03:00.000-05:002004-02-11T11:04:54.560-05:00Bend It
I just signed up for Netflix. A lot of my friends are doing it. It looked like fun.
I think it's great that I can watch as many movies as I want for $19.99 a month, and that they're sent to me via First Class Mail. I make up a "queue" of movies, and as soon as I finish a movie and mail it back, they mail me the next one on my queue.
My first movie was Bend It Like Beckham. I lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076430797969619412004-02-10T11:33:00.000-05:002004-02-10T11:43:48.466-05:00Miami Heat
Miami was really nice. Here are some highlights from my trip:
1. I went jet-skiing in the bay, and I almost capsized in the wake of an enormous boat with "U.S. Immigration Patrol" written on its side. The Federal agents waved at me.
2. I heard on the news that a "cold front" was coming. The temperature was scheduled to drop down to a frigid 65 F (18 C). Homeless shelters lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076356673030692262004-02-09T14:57:00.000-05:002004-02-09T15:02:31.796-05:00Outkast in the Miami Heat
Hey, I'm back from Miami! Busy now catching up on work, but I'll have more details about my fun trip tomorrow.
In the meantime, check out Saddam Hussein's take on that Outkast song. Turn up the volume; it's funny. There's even cleavage (sorry, no nipple pasties, though)...lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076094285535612922004-02-06T14:04:00.000-05:002004-02-06T15:06:33.216-05:00Brrrrrrrr!!!
It's been soooo cold and miserable here lately.
The other day I saw a can of Diet Coke that someone had spilled on the sidewalk. It was so cold outside that the cold liquid had frozen solid to the sidewalk before the carbonation had subsided. So there was this mountain of frozen foam, with a can imbedded into it.
It's so cold that there were no customers in the Cold Stone lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1076007189371675342004-02-05T13:53:00.000-05:002004-02-05T13:58:27.606-05:00Out, Damn Spot
I just saw a trailer for a new movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
In it, Jim Carrey plays a guy who has his psychiatrist "clean" his mind of all memory of a painful relationship with his girlfriend, played by Kate Winslet.
This movie is part of a trend of movies in Hollywood addressing futuristic and deep issues of memory and the human perception of reality. This lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075911101119382622004-02-04T11:11:00.000-05:002004-02-04T11:39:54.780-05:00Here, Kitty Kitty Kitty
I was in the Hello Kitty Store in Times Square the other night.
I never got into Hello Kitty when I was a kid. I guess that makes me unusual among Asian-American girls. The effusively friendly salesgirls scared me a little. They were all little and cute and Asian, and giggled with their hands over their mouths, "hee hee hee hee!"
In addition to the standard lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075819805917262182004-02-03T09:50:00.000-05:002004-02-03T09:51:46.140-05:00The Universe is Conspiring Against Me
Remember my January 6 post about my least favorite word in the world?
Well, last night I was walking home. 1/2 block from my apartment, I passed a new restaurant that was celebrating its grand opening. Locations are popping up all over Manhattan.
CHIPOTLE.
Noooooo!!!! They've followed me!!!!!lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075736381234341442004-02-02T10:39:00.000-05:002004-02-02T10:44:14.326-05:00Lord of the Super Bowl Rings
This weekend I watched the Super Bowl. I also saw the 3rd Lord of the Rings Movie: Return of the King.
There were many parallels between the two events.
First, there was an abundance of sweaty men bonding, being brotherly, hugging, rolling around together (what was up with that pillow-tickle fight scene on Frodo's bed?)
Then, there was that ubiquitous quest lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075474376181304822004-01-30T09:52:00.000-05:002004-01-30T09:58:09.326-05:00You Got it Goin' On, Ralphie
Do me a favor. Go out and get a cd of Symphony #5 by Ralph Vaughan Williams and listen to it. It is sublime.
And nothing is more sublime than getting to play the first flute part. Especially the third movement, which was so heart-breakingly beautiful that I nearly broke down and wept like a baby while playing it during rehearsal last night.
Soo embarrassing. lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075305188720876832004-01-28T10:53:00.000-05:002004-01-28T10:56:55.793-05:00Cellular Solutions
I finally got my cell phone fixed, after that slip-and-fall debacle on the ice last Thursday. I got tired of holding the pieces of my cell phone together with rubber bands and Scotch tape.
Found a seedy little cell phone store on the East Side. The sign said, "Cell Phones and Shoe Repair." It was down the street from a store called, "Danny's Fried Chicken and Chinese Food.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075214851382272732004-01-27T09:47:00.000-05:002004-01-27T09:49:03.890-05:00Whore Presents
Lori's post from last Friday reminded me of a conversation I recently had at work. A coworker was talking about a site called www.whorepresents.com.
"Whore presents?" I asked. "Are you sure you should be accessing that from your work computer?"
"No," he laughed. "It's a site for finding out the names of agents of celebrities. You know, WHO REPRESENTS."
Dear me.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1075131556876129612004-01-26T10:39:00.000-05:002004-01-26T10:40:48.530-05:00Next on Jenny Jones
I met someone this weekend who writes for talk shows.
Yeah, he's the one who writes the little teaser ads on tv:
"Dating makeovers: Can we turn this dating zero into a hookup hero? Tune in today on Jenny Jones."
"Jilted lovers confront the ones who done them wrong. Love 'em or leave 'em? Next on Ricki Lake."
"Today on Maury: Can she prove which of these two brothers lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074869454799947242004-01-23T09:50:00.000-05:002004-01-23T09:52:23.246-05:00More From the Heartland
I got to thinking about tourists. There are a lot of them wandering around NYC at any given moment.
I always see them in Times Square, gawking at the lights. Or in Grand Central Station, gaping in awe at the Sky Ceiling in the Main Concourse.
Usually you can tell that they're from out of town. Mostly the Midwest and South. It's because the girls get all decked outlotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074789898485069892004-01-22T11:44:00.000-05:002004-01-22T11:46:26.106-05:00Inevitability
The average temperature of NYC in the month of January has been 25 F. We've had over a week of single-digit temperatures, ice storms, snowstorms, slush, grayness and general atmospheric malaise. I haven't seen the sun in over 10 days.
It was bound to happen.
Stepping off the curb to catch a cab this morning, I slipped, went sprawling and did a full-on belly flop. In front of alotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074699027112982492004-01-21T10:30:00.000-05:002004-01-21T10:41:10.013-05:00Musicians in Monkey Suits
The Chinese New Year concert series went very well indeed.
The best moment was when we were backstage getting ready, and I heard a voice from the violin section rise up in panic.
"Oh no, I just broke my G-string!! HEY, DOES ANYONE HAVE A G-STRING I COULD BUY OFF YOU? I CAN'T GO ON STAGE WITHOUT ONE!! Last time I tried that, it was a TOTAL DISASTER!!!"
This was lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074542499102915142004-01-19T15:01:00.000-05:002004-01-19T15:03:04.483-05:00Countdown to the State of the Union
So President George W. Bush is giving the State of the Union Address tomorrow night (Tuesday, January 20) at 9 p.m. Eastern time.
I'm really looking forward to it. And also to playing this drinking game while I watch it.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074265825369379062004-01-16T10:10:00.000-05:002004-01-16T10:11:47.466-05:00Art Imitates Life
This community orchestra I'm in is performing at a benefit for Chinese New Year next week. We're playing some pieces by Chinese composers. One of the ones we've been rehearsing is called...(drum roll)
"LOTUS"
Isn't that awesome? It's a beautiful piece (very Oriental-sounding.
The composer of the piece has been at our rehearsals this week. She explained to all of us in lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074182610609472932004-01-15T11:03:00.000-05:002004-01-15T11:22:40.983-05:00The Voices in My Head
I have an extremely embarrassing character trait, which I'm going to confess to you now.
I am absolutely incapable of recognizing people's voices on the phone. Even people who are very close to me. It's gotten me into trouble more times than you can imagine. People get hurt, people get insulted. But I can't help it.
Typical conversations I'll get into:
(Phone rings)
lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074095949485577972004-01-14T10:59:00.000-05:002004-01-14T11:02:16.903-05:00Abbreviations
I recently found out that the bank HSBC actually stands for Hong Kong Shanghai Banking Corporation.
Remember when Kentucky Fried Chicken changed to KFC, to give their food a more healthy connotation, to de-emphasize the greasy FRIED CHICKEN?
And a lot of law firms now are dropping the long list of names, so that "Smith, Johnson, Wyglendowski, Quackenbush and Taylor" is now lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1074004111972871422004-01-13T09:28:00.000-05:002004-01-13T09:30:37.716-05:00Sick Sense of Humor
I still have a roll of leftover Christmas wrapping paper in my office, from back when I was secretly wrapping presents for my secretary and loved ones.
This morning, I came into work and saw a present on my chair, wrapped in that paper. For a moment, I was confused. Was someone sending me a belated Christmas present?
I opened it to find that the "present" was a file that lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1073666780846523912004-01-09T11:46:00.000-05:002004-01-09T11:50:08.576-05:00Oriental Pearl Cream
For those of you who think you're sooo smart and have figured out my age, guess what - you're WRONG!! I put in those numbers just to trick you, haha.
I'm so clever. Because we Asians are good at math. So we can do cool things, like uh, play math tricks on everyone and stuff...hahaha..
Anyhow, it doesn't matter how old I am because I'm ageless, baby. I use the lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1073574240065575502004-01-08T10:04:00.000-05:002004-01-08T10:12:06.670-05:00Sorry, Paloma Picasso
I avoided getting my ears pierced for 25 years.
Two years ago, I finally did it. I, a grown woman, went to the mall and had them pierced by a teenage girl in one of those little teenybopper boutiques.
It was one of the most exciting moments of my adult life. My teenage sister, who had had her ears pierced for years, held my hand during the entire procedure.
One oflotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1073488123815189512004-01-07T10:08:00.000-05:002004-01-07T10:09:57.043-05:00Close Call
Someone has been stealing computers from the office.
Firm Administration keeps sending emails reminding everyone to un-dock their laptops and lock them up each night. I was always too lazy to do it, but last week I started storing mine in a file cabinet, and last night I actually locked the cabinet for the first time.
So yesterday, the partner whose office is next door to mine lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1073404712354594782004-01-06T10:58:00.000-05:002004-01-06T11:05:26.216-05:00What's in a Name?
My least favorite word in the world is CHIPOTLE.
For some inexplicable reason, I can't stand that word. I can't stand anything chipotle-flavored. Just reading it, or hearing someone say it, makes me nauseous. I'm not sure why, or from what recesses of my psyche arises this repugnance for it.
I had dinner with some friends the other night at a Mexican restaurant. The lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1073318740921848542004-01-05T11:05:00.000-05:002004-01-05T11:17:36.843-05:00Chatter
Do you ever go into those nail salons run by a bunch of Asian women, and wonder just what it is that they're all saying to each other when they chatter in a foreign language while they do your nails? There's a Seinfeld episode about this.
Here's what I heard this weekend, while getting a manicure (they didn't know I could understand them):
Girl 1: That girl you're working on looks lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1073061155963975332004-01-02T11:32:00.000-05:002004-01-02T11:35:13.390-05:00Happy 2004!!
I rang in 2004 drunk on sangria and surrounded by intoxicated friends crying, "I LOVE you, man!!"
My personal resolutions are:
(1) to save more money;
(2) to clean my apartment more, and
(3) to have more orgasms (I'm convinced that's the key to keeping that smooth-skinned, youthful glow).
So here's a virtual champagne toast to all of my lovely readers and bloggy friends - lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1072796679279263362003-12-30T10:04:00.000-05:002003-12-30T10:15:56.686-05:00Schmoopy Alert
I was in Bloomingdale's the other night, wandering through the furniture department, when I overheard the following conversation between two pierced, leather-clad teenagers who were reposing - or rather, dry-humping, on a suede couch:
Boy: Schmoopy baby, guess what today is?
Girl: I dunno, darling schmoopy snookums babycakes! What is it?
Boy: Today is our 15 day lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1072707920303971772003-12-29T09:25:00.000-05:002003-12-29T09:29:20.200-05:00Post Christmas Slump
Hey HEY HEY, I'm back!
The hinterlands were much fun, indeed. Nice to see the family.
On Christmas Eve, we continued our yearly family tradition of going to Midnight Mass. It was nice, but I knew we were all getting old when I glanced over to see both of my parents falling asleep in the pew. I was near snoozing myself. My sister, ever the night-owl college student, lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071849900736147462003-12-19T11:05:00.000-05:002003-12-19T11:11:32.403-05:00Last Christmas
There's a radio station in New York that's been playing nonstop Christmas songs, 24 hours a day, since the first week of December. It's usually on in nail salons, supermarkets, convenience stores.
Every other song the station plays is either "Feliz Navidad" or "Last Christmas" by George Michael and Wham. Those two songs now alternate in my head ALL DAY.
First Christmas
I lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071761613335058162003-12-18T10:33:00.000-05:002003-12-18T10:37:27.280-05:00Shitty Bank
I entrust all of my hard-earned cash to this ubiquitous banking institution.
There is a Citibank every couple of blocks in Manhattan. About once a week I enter one and get cash from one of a long row of Automatic Teller Machines.
On weekends, the buildings are deserted except for the homeless who people hang out in the lobby, out of the cold, graciously opening doors for lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071671067751979682003-12-17T09:24:00.000-05:002003-12-17T09:25:19.966-05:00Shake That Booty
I've been running around for the past day; things are shaking up at work, and needless to say, I'm extremely distracted with worries about the future of my career.
I've been doing things wrong, alienating my secretary, citing overturned cases, pissing off partners all over the place. Oh, and I just spilled coffee on my keyboard.
Yesterday a partner got so mad at me during a lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071507003732151212003-12-15T11:50:00.000-05:002003-12-15T12:06:54.670-05:00Pride and Extreme Prejudice
Boy thinks it's cute and extremely girlish that I'm crazy about Pride and Prejudice- both the book and the 1995 BBC miniseries.
This weekend I was flipping channels at Boy's place when I saw that the old Pride and Prejudice from 1940 was on tv. It was the black and white version with Greer Garson and Sir Laurence Olivier. I got really excited because I'd never lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071244539792877982003-12-12T10:55:00.000-05:002003-12-12T14:23:57.856-05:00Guilt
My secretary told me that last week, while driving during the snowstorm, he was rear-ended by another car on the NJ Turnpike. His car was dented, and his rear bumper fell off.
He said the driver, an elderly Asian man, got out of his car and shouted in broken English, "Move car over to side of road!" So my secretary complied, driving over so as not to block traffic while waiting for the lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071155875906686182003-12-11T10:17:00.000-05:002003-12-11T10:18:42.356-05:00Damn Thieves
I am a pretty generous person around the office. I refill my coworkers' candy jars for them. I give my secretary good presents for special occasions. I even buy air freshener for the ladies' room on my floor.
Well, yesterday the can was missing. This is the FOURTH time this has happened - I buy a can of Lysol, and someone STEALS it within a matter of weeks.
What the hell lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1071073363235721522003-12-10T11:22:00.000-05:002003-12-10T11:33:27.983-05:00Six Figures
I got into a huge fight on the phone with my parents last night.
They keep harassing me to save more money. According to their calculations (keeping in mind that they live in the rural Deep South), I should have something like $500,000 saved up by now, since I make six figures and have been working for 3 years.
Yeah, right. I don't have much saved up at all. I have many lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070985200567446512003-12-09T10:53:00.000-05:002003-12-09T10:55:11.420-05:00Spammed!
I got 2 of the most disturbing spam emails ever, this morning.
The first was, "Hot European barely legal sluts getting it for the very first time!! xd,wpdihwqzxe3"
The second was, "See hot young girl cum sit on big Santa's lap! eocvb/qpvkzaw"
Euwwwwwww!!!!! First of all, how can they be sluts if they're doing it for the very first time? And do the Europeans have the market on hot lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070897573894011332003-12-08T10:32:00.000-05:002003-12-08T10:48:04.763-05:00Chinese Crack
On Friday night Boy and I had dinner together. Boy said, "Hey, I'm in the mood for Chinese food. Let's go to Ollie's." Ollie's is our favorite Chinese restaurant in Manhattan. It's cheap, fast, authentic.
So we went. We had a nice dinner, and relaxed after a long week at work.
On Saturday night, I met up with my best friend K for dinner before a concert at Lincoln Center.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070637576033598052003-12-05T10:19:00.000-05:002003-12-05T10:25:54.826-05:00Dinner for Eight
The 7 people, dead or alive, good or evil, whom I would invite to dinner:
1. Benjamin Cardozo
2. Queen Elizabeth I
3. Pol Pot
4. Bill Moyers
5. Sandra Day O'Connor
6. Jesus
7. Klytaemnestra
Who would be on your list?lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070549639004834512003-12-04T09:53:00.000-05:002003-12-04T13:40:41.436-05:00Russian Roulette
The lobby of my office building is fitting for a high-rise in midtown Manhattan - high ceilings, shiny chrome.
Every morning I stand at the elevator bank and wait for one of six elevators to light up, indicating that I can step in and be whisked up the 20-something floors to my office.
The managers of my building recently started renovating the elevators. So far, they've lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070466557974501312003-12-03T10:49:00.000-05:002003-12-03T10:59:33.403-05:00Unnatural Citrus
I hate Sunkist.
When I was a kid, I took swimming lessons at the local YMCA. After our lessons we would go buy a soda from the soda machine in the building. Sometimes there would be nothing left in the machine but Sunkist. I hated it. I hated the unnatural orange color, the syrupy sweet aftertaste.
I was in the dentist's office the other day, and the hygienist gave me a lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070379639787560512003-12-02T10:40:00.000-05:002003-12-02T10:46:59.246-05:00Back To It
Thanks for the well-wishes; I'm feeling better. I didn't eat much this Thanksgiving, but it was nice to be surrounded by loved ones - they hug you even if you're tired and pukey.
I was out of the office - in court yesterday. A case I'm on just went up on appeal, and yesterday was the oral argument.
It was interesting. The courtroom was PACKED. There were some media, but it waslotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1070065976797209932003-11-28T19:32:00.000-05:002003-11-28T19:40:10.700-05:00Day After Thanksgiving
I love the day after Thanksgiving. It's like a free holiday. Well, not so much this year, since I'm still getting over my cold/flu/whatever it was.
No work today - my firm is officially closed for Thanksgiving and the day after. No shopping today - I hate the consumer-driven craziness of the Christmas shopping season.
So I lay around all morning digesting my lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069780305457870652003-11-25T12:11:00.000-05:002003-11-25T12:12:16.216-05:00The Final Push
It's the final push to get all of the work done before Thanksgiving. In the office, tempers are flaring, tension is high.
And on top of that, I'm running a low grade fever and feeling nauseous. I just saw myself in the mirror; I'm flushed and sweaty and my eyes are suspiciously bright. What a time to be sick.
I treated myself to a pur-ty French Manicure this weekend. Well,lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069686715697981072003-11-24T10:11:00.000-05:002003-11-24T10:27:33.750-05:00No more Tulle
Sorry to dwell on an old subject, but Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to announce that Lotus will be celebrating Thanksgiving with great fervor and joy this year. Why?
Because, after half a dozen weddings and half a dozen bridesmaids dresses in the last year, Miss Lotus is officially finished!
Yep, most of my friends are married off. No bridesmaid gigs for the next year.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069426757848196022003-11-21T09:59:00.000-05:002003-11-21T11:24:05.043-05:00Me, Me, Me!!
This morning I saw a commercial on tv for Dave Matthews' new album. The announcer said, "Critics are raving about Dave Matthews' highly successful solo debut."
What? Wait a minute, I don't know much about this guy, and I've never been a fan, but wasn't his old band called "The DAVE MATTHEWS BAND?"
This isn't like Sting leaving The Police or Stevie Nicks leaving Fleetwood Mac.lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069343210523076362003-11-20T10:46:00.000-05:002003-11-20T10:51:39.500-05:00NY State Bar Exam
The New York State Bar Exam results are out, and I'm pleased to report that all of the first-year associates at my firm passed!
3 years ago, when I got my results, I passed but my roommate failed. It was totally awkward. I remember both of us sitting at her computer, scrolling through the list of names. I saw my name but she did not.
We'd been having roommate issues beforelotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069259199700087042003-11-19T11:26:00.000-05:002003-11-19T11:42:42.233-05:00It's All Relative
This morning I went running in my neighborhood. I live a few blocks from Sutton Place, a fancy neighborhood in Manhattan. As I ran by, I gaped in awe at the luxurious apartment buildings, all guarded by starched, stiff-necked uniformed doormen.
Sutton Place is the home of wealthy but understatedly famous people like architect I.M. Pei, wealthy and overstatedly famous lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069170481528086502003-11-18T10:48:00.000-05:002003-11-18T10:55:04.996-05:00Established Careers
One of my pet peeves is when a woman essentially gives up her own identity in a relationship, and her only goal is to get the ring and get married, to be identified as "So and so's wife," at the expense of asking herself what she wants.
And this woman, having achieved her goal of the engagement ring, then makes a fuss about whether to change her last name after marriage. lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1069084884019043652003-11-17T11:01:00.000-05:002003-11-18T13:33:57.326-05:00Holiday Inn Select
I'm back in the Big Apple!! The wedding was fun. The crowd was very southern. After riding to the rehearsal dinner in a Cadillac full of big-haired southern matriarchs, I suffered an asthma attack from the perfume.
There was a groom's cake with an Arkansas Razorback on it (for the groom's alma mater).
We stayed at the Holiday Inn Select. Every morning for breakfast we lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1068650029557994462003-11-12T10:13:00.000-05:002003-11-12T10:20:37.086-05:00Let's Get Physical
I've never been very athletic.
There are athletic genes in my family, but my sister got them all. As a kid, she played softball in a girls' league. In high school she was on her soccer and swim teams. In college, she was a star on her school's crew team.
Me, I still have memories of being picked dead last for teams in the daily junior-high gym class humiliation. I was lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1068564150495349012003-11-11T10:22:00.000-05:002003-11-11T11:25:13.676-05:00Veterans Day
Today is Veterans Day. Formerly known as Armistice Day, the name was changed in 1954 to honor veterans of all wars, living or dead.
Memorial Day is a day for remembering and honoring military personnel who died in the service of their country, particularly those who died in battle or as a result of wounds sustained in battle.
While those who died are also remembered on Veterans lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1068479160749312862003-11-10T10:46:00.000-05:002003-11-10T10:51:05.993-05:00Accents from Around the World
I was in the office until 9 last night. I had to call a client in Hong Kong on Monday morning, Hong Kong time.
Sunday night in the office is NEVER a fun thing.
The client was nice though. She was like my total alter ego. It was uncanny how alike we were, talking to each other from opposite ends of the globe.
Like me, she is an Asian woman. Unlike me, she lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1068227193658714172003-11-07T12:46:00.000-05:002003-11-07T12:47:52.176-05:00Life After the Supremes
I had dinner with a friend who just finished two years clerking for a Judge on this court. Yeah, not a bad gig.
Before that, he clerked for another judge, on an Appeals Court. So for the last 3 years since we both graduated from law school, he's never done anything but clerk for judges. He's never worked in private practice.
He recently left his gig with The Supremeslotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1068138206216501112003-11-06T12:03:00.000-05:002003-11-06T13:48:45.436-05:00Autumn in New York
Dear Boy:
I know you had to go out of town for business, but I miss you! Why did you have to go this week, when the weather is just getting cold and romantic?
It's the time of year when you hold your hot chocolate in two mittened hands, and you enjoy taking that extra time in the morning to snoogle together under the covers, and your nose feels just a little bit cold whenlotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1068050104560195862003-11-05T11:35:00.000-05:002003-11-05T11:36:40.066-05:00Sweet November
Winter is arriving. The air is crisp and cold. Here are some other signs:
1. People walk faster down the street. Nobody talks. They walk hunched over, in a big hurry to get to the heated indoor warmth of where they're going.
2. Starbucks is selling more hot chocolate than frappuccinos. All of the coffee shops have all brought out their "Holiday blends."
3. My orchids lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067961196317803282003-11-04T10:53:00.000-05:002003-11-04T10:54:01.956-05:00The Wheels of Democracy are a-Turning
Today is Election Day. I voted this morning. Did you?
Well, what the heck are you waiting for?lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067887086985291072003-11-03T14:18:00.000-05:002003-11-03T15:40:33.920-05:00Marathon Madness
I watched the NYC Marathon yesterday. I had a seat in the stands right at the finish line. It was fun to watch the looks on people's faces after 26.2 miles - elation, relief, pain!
But my word, there are some freaks who run this thing! Either that, or people were recycling their Halloween costumes.
There were two guys dressed as the Blues Brothers, in suits and hats and lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067711404593124552003-11-01T13:30:00.000-05:002003-11-01T15:09:48.953-05:00Y'all da Best!
MANY THANKS to the IA, who set up my Archives, and to the Underwear Ninja, who told me how to fix my font!
I am eternally grateful. Everyone go and visit both of their sites and lavish them with attention!
House Rules
So I'm into this new reality show on TBS called House Rules. The contestants are all couples. Each couple gets a house to renovate. They do it all - lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067615002963310032003-10-31T10:43:00.000-05:002003-10-31T11:26:45.183-05:00Useless
Ok, all of my computer and engineering training have been useless. I can't figure out the html code for fixing my font. C++, Pascal and BASIC are not helping me here.
It's a simple matter of inserting a font command somewhere, but it's not working.
In the meantime, enjoy this quiz. Can you tell the difference between a computer language inventor and a serial killer? Turning up the lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067528993709625942003-10-30T10:49:00.000-05:002003-10-30T10:55:31.483-05:00Blllagghhhh!!!
Ok, there's a demon in my computer or something. Up until yesterday, my Archives were not working. And now suddenly there's an archive link on the right, but everything on the right side of my screen is in large Times New Roman font.
Stand by while we resolve technical difficulties...lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067442259437045142003-10-29T10:44:00.000-05:002003-10-29T15:43:09.090-05:00Bad Girl; No Milk For Free!
People who work in law firms are the worst about stealing other people's crap. Last week we got a memo from the managing partner:
Please do not take food that is left in the refrigerators overnight. If you did not leave it there, it does not belong to you, and as such, you should not eat it.
What, are we back in kindergarten? Who the hell is stealing other lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067354843586270532003-10-28T10:27:00.000-05:002003-10-28T10:57:40.990-05:00Frustration
The past few days, I have not had good luck with food and drink.
Yesterday, I bought a frozen yogurt. I asked for vanilla with fresh strawberries on top. I got 3 frozen strawberries, all hard as rocks, perched atop a wet pool of sticky liquid.
This morning I bought a coffee frappuccino from Starbucks. I was crossing the street to my office, drink in hand, when I realized, to lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067265580865869752003-10-27T09:39:00.000-05:002003-10-27T11:19:56.566-05:00Paaaaiiinnnnnn
Ugh, I'm in so much pain today. I'm walking around hobbled over, like an old woman. My legs are on fire. It was torture climbing the stairs on the subway station.
Yesterday I did super-duper advanced cardio step aerobics at the gym. My gym is new-agey, and has classes with new-agey titles. Remember back when gyms had 2 aerobics classes and that was it?
Here's a sampling of lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1067007194288301132003-10-24T10:53:00.000-04:002003-10-24T11:41:09.053-04:00Madame Chiang-kai Shek has Died
A clever, ruthless woman has gone to her grave.
The NY Times Article is worth reading. Go ahead and log on; it's free. Or you can click here for the Yahoo version. I think both are the same.
Quote of the day: "It's interesting the influence which enforced celibacy has on . . . judgment - and the course of political events." - John Paton Davies.
True dat!! Ilotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066917746674554512003-10-23T10:02:00.000-04:002003-10-23T10:05:01.036-04:00Strange Tastes
I've always been pretty thin and I've been blessed with a quick metabolism even though I'm a complete glutton. As a child I was a picky eater, but there were always certain things I loved and would gorge myself on. Here are a few things I really like to eat, which I've been told are really strange and disgusting:
1. I really like chocolate chip bagels with cream cheese, smokedlotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066835226771493692003-10-22T11:07:00.000-04:002003-10-22T14:16:57.513-04:00Minor Celebrity Sightings
Two weeks ago, I was at the airport when I saw Andrea Immer, the wine goddess!! I actually went up and said hi to her - something I've never done before. But it wasn't like she was a movie star; she's a wine expert. And I've been to one of her wine tastings.
We chatted for a while. We were both waiting for friends who were on the same arriving flight. I actuallylotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066746947525133642003-10-21T10:35:00.000-04:002003-10-21T10:45:26.293-04:00Wachovia Overload
Am I the only one sick of the Wachovia's new ad campaign? I know they took over First Union Bank so it's a push to get their name out. But enough already.
When I was a toddler, we lived in North Carolina. My mom was a keypunch operator for Wachovia (a job that has since been rendered defunct by the advent of the computer and the elimination of punch cards). Back then, lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066660037306377062003-10-20T10:27:00.000-04:002003-10-20T10:27:17.200-04:00Easy Access??
I know a girl who takes every pair of jeans she buys and cuts a hole in the crotch, a little larger than a quarter. I noticed it when a bunch of us were out clubbing the other night, and she was dancing on a platform while the rest of us were below. She said that having a hole in the crotch of her jeans makes her feel "more flexible."
I didn't have the nerve to look to see lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066343937344068122003-10-16T18:38:00.000-04:002003-10-16T18:38:57.080-04:00Random Thoughts on a Thursday Night
Random Thought 1 I'm very nice to my secretary. I buy him presents for his birthday and Christmas, and I give him flowers on Administrative Professionals Day.
So is it a coincidence that today is National Boss Day, and he went on vacation this week?
Random Thought 2 My best friend's grandmother was born in 1913. She has lived most of her life in lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066315139688226132003-10-16T10:38:00.000-04:002003-10-16T10:43:52.640-04:00Work Self, Play Self
I was in the waiting room of the doctor's office yesterday, reading a magazine.
A young woman walked in, with short spiked hair, leather pants, leather jacket, black boots. She took off her jacket to reveal a tight wife-beater tank top. Her arms were covered with tattoos: a dragon down one arm, all the way to her wrists. She also had a tattoo on her back - I could see lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066230255689075082003-10-15T11:04:00.000-04:002003-10-15T11:10:59.446-04:00Arterial Elasticity Testing
Last week a memo went around my firm:
We are conducting Arterial Elasticity Testing next week! Now is your opportunity to sign up for this important health benefit! Appointments are available everyday in Conference Room C!
So I signed up. Many associates my age don't care.
But last night, my parents called me. They are the world's biggest health freaks. Theylotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066143002982336792003-10-14T10:50:00.000-04:002003-10-14T10:58:02.253-04:00The Insomnia of the 20-Something-Year-Old
Sometimes, late at night, I can't sleep, and I lie in my bed all alone, feeling as if I'm the only person in the whole world.
Then I look at my closet, and the half-dozen ugly-ass bridesmaid's dresses hanging there. Dresses I've been forced to spend hundreds of dollars buying.
And then I realize that I'm in fact not alone - there are many other peoplelotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1066055456990477462003-10-13T10:30:00.000-04:002003-10-13T10:41:59.006-04:00Roberto Cavalli
So why do I feel like the whole world gets today off except me? On my way to work this morning I had to take a detour to get around 5th Avenue, already shut down in preparation for today's Columbus Day Parade.
The DJ on the radio just exclaimed with jubilation, "Roberto Cavalli will be the Grand Marshall!!"
Ok, I may shock you all with my lack of New Yorker sophistication,lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1065794090552286652003-10-10T09:54:00.000-04:002003-10-13T14:02:49.406-04:00Oriental Flava'
In my firm's lunchroom, there's a bookshelf in the corner, with various old paperback books that people have donated over the years. I often see employees reading the books while eating, borrowing them, adding to the collection.
Yesterday a particular book caught my eye. The title was The White Mandarin. It was old, tattered, Communist red. The back cover reads thusly:
lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1065710085097305182003-10-09T10:34:00.000-04:002003-10-09T10:37:45.540-04:00For Profit Endeavors
My best friend works for a nonprofit organization. It's a very noble cause - helping children in inner city schools. They do a lot of fundraising. I go to their fundraising events often - they target young, educated, upwardly mobile yuppies like me. They're pretty strait-laced events.
The other night they had a fundraiser in a cute little neighborhood bar on the Upperlotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1065620953690561862003-10-08T09:49:00.000-04:002003-10-08T10:54:48.106-04:00Eeeeeek!!!
Dear Mouse in my Apartment:
I saw you this weekend. You thought I was watching tv, but I saw you sneak down the side of my yoga mat, which was rolled up and leaning against the wall in the corner of the kitchen. And I saw how you had nibbled the packages in my kitchen. Don't think I'm not onto you.
And 2 nights ago, when I went into the kitchen to get some water, I saw you. Youlotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5569208.post-1065537805736888132003-10-07T10:43:00.000-04:002003-10-07T10:44:19.403-04:00Baby Got Back
Well, hello again dearies! After a 3-month long hiatus, Fragrant Lotus is back! To those of you who said I would be back, we always come back, you were right. I owe you a drink or something.
I enjoyed my hiatus. I celebrated my birthday, I went to a couple of bachelorette parties, I had a nice summer, I did a lot of running, I went on vacation, I came close to wearing out my lotushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03141226326603641724noreply@blogger.com